Have you been struggling with unpredictable constipation, disruptive diarrhea, painful hemorrhoids, or the agony of anal fissures? You’re not alone, and there’s no need to suffer in silence anymore.

We understand how these issues can take a toll on your daily life and overall well-being. The constant discomfort, embarrassment, and uncertainty can be overwhelming. But we want you to know that relief is possible – and we’re here to guide you through it.

In this book, we’ll share the insights and strategies that have helped countless individuals, including the author, find freedom from bathroom troubles. Drawing from years of research and personal experiences, we’ll explore immediate solutions to alleviate your symptoms as well as long-term approaches for lasting relief.

You’ll discover:

• Quick fixes for those moments when you need instant comfort, including a three-day cure for hemorrhoids and constipation relief that works overnight.
• An approachable yet comprehensive look at the science behind digestive health, demystifying common concerns like why your poop might be green or what a “ghost poop” really means.
• Practical lifestyle adjustments and nutritional tips tailored to your unique body and needs.
• Friendly, judgment-free guidance that acknowledges the sensitive nature of these issues.

No matter what you’re facing, whether it’s an occasional flare-up or an ongoing battle, this book is your compassionate companion on the journey to pain-free pooping and a happier, worry-free life.

We know how challenging and isolating these experiences can be, but you don’t have to go through them alone. Let us walk beside you, offering understanding, expertise, and a path to lasting relief. Your comfort and well-being are our top priorities.

MEDICAL DISCLAIMER 

The information on this platform is for educational and informational purposes only and should not replace professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Relying on this platform’s information is at your own risk. If you feel unwell or suspect a serious issue, consult a medical professional to be on the safe side.

FOREWORD – WHAT THIS BOOK OFFERS

Let’s get straight to the point – you’re here because bathroom blues are putting a damper on your fun days. You’re suffering from constipation, diarrhea, hemorrhoids, or anal fissures and want relief. I’m there with you, having spent years wrestling with these issues. Finally, I found what works for me, and guess what? It works for a lot of other people, too.

We can’t poop when we travel or take pain medication. Then we get hemorrhoids and fissures. It doesn’t take much to get them, but an eternity to get rid of them. Or do you have an upset stomach when you drink too much coffee? Almost everyone has confronted such issues, some more than others. It’s all so disruptive, and getting upset just makes it worse.

In the first chapter, we’ll immediately give you the advice and products that have delivered relief for myself and countless others. My goal? Get you back to comfortable bathroom visits ASAP. But we won’t stop there. In subsequent chapters, we go into more detail about the short—and long-term solutions that banish your bathroom woes for good. 

We’ll briefly outline the science of digestive health with a friendly and straightforward approach. Ever wondered ‘why your poop is green, how to tackle constipation fast, or what ghost poop really is? This book answers all those questions, breaking down the facts into easy-to-digest, approachable insights.

We’ll delve into lifestyle habits – exercise, nutrition, and more – that get you to pain-free pooping. There’s also a section on how to relieve and reduce bloating. This is not a comprehensive lifestyle and nutrition book since there’s already a wealth of those resources. However, we will delve into how these areas impact your bathroom experiences. We’ll clear up confusion, separate fact from fiction, and debunk common misconceptions about pooping. Get ready to unlock the secrets behind a healthy “what,” “how,” and “when” of elimination – empowering you to take charge of your well-being.

To clarify, I choose to use the term ‘poop’ because it’s the word most people use in daily life (let’s face it, ‘feces’ is too unattractive a word).  This book also uses terms like ‘stool’ or ‘bowel movement’ as common alternatives for the word ‘poop or ‘pooping.’ Here, you won’t encounter any crude slang, despite the colorful variety of four-letter words available as synonyms for poop. 

Finding polite alternatives for ‘rectum’ and ‘anus’ is tough – ‘butthole’ seems too juvenile, so I occasionally use ‘rear end’ or other such euphemisms. By the way, the rectum is where the poop accumulates, ready for elimination, and the anus is the actual exit point area. Undoubtedly, your life is richer for knowing this distinction. 

While this book may sometimes use a lighthearted tone, the information is firmly rooted in research and fact. Years of dedicated investigation, the latest medical advancements, and my journey to lasting relief have informed this handbook in tackling posterior pain. 

But let’s be honest: bathroom troubles can be an embarrassing drag. That’s why a little humor can go a long way. To that end, my alternative pet title for this book is “Poop-a-looza-Your Backstage Pass to a World of Worry-free Elimination.” 

SOS

We understand you’re in pain. This chapter is your backstage pass to immediate relief, whether you’re dealing with constipation, diarrhea, hemorrhoids, or anal fissures. While the book provides in-depth information, this section focuses on quick solutions you might need right now. 

CONSTIPATION

The problem is you can’t poop. You’re not regular and straining too much. The poop is hard and dry and hurts when it comes out. The immediate solution is high-fiber vegetables, probiotics, water, and exercise. 

I always turn to natural solutions first, which means plenty of vegetables, probiotic-rich foods, supplements, and staying hydrated. But be aware that not all veggies are created equal! While lettuce might have nutrients and plenty of water, kale packs a much more powerful fiber punch. My strategy is to load up on a large plate of high-fiber vegetables, like roasted Brussels sprouts or kale salad. It’s best to limit red meat intake when dealing with constipation. If you want meat, use a small portion, cut into small bits, preferably in a mixture of your favorite legumes, like beans.

If you are on medications that cause constipation, such as painkillers and sleeping aids, make sure to have one meal a day with almost all vegetables. To minimize gas and bloating, chew your food thoroughly.

Probiotic supplements will alleviate constipation (as well as diarrhea) and support regularity. Strains like Bifidobacterium lactis can help increase bowel movement frequency and soften stools, making them easier to pass. Take the maximum amount recommended, especially at night. I get my probiotics from Garden of Life as I trust their products. 

Yogurt with active cultures, especially eaten before bed, can be helpful, particularly during travel when your routine changes. Kefir also works very well.  

Anti-constipation teas can also be effective, like Smooth Move Tea (from Traditional Medicinals) or similar products available at supermarkets. Consider drinking a cup before bedtime. If these options don’t provide relief, a laxative may be necessary.  Choose one made with herbal ingredients whenever possible. Drink plenty of water throughout the day; it makes the poop softer. 

Waking up and moving your body can be a great way to promote regularity. Don’t lounge in bed too long in the morning; get out of bed within a few minutes of waking.  Light exercise in the morning, like a short yoga routine, some stretches, or even a walk, are great ways to trigger the need to go.  It might take a bit of experimentation to find what works best for you. Some people find that bending motions, like unloading the dishwasher or tidying up, can trigger their urge to go.  The most important thing is to listen to your body.  Once you feel the need to have a poop, head to the bathroom promptly to avoid any discomfort.

Here’s another tip: Just have a morning coffee, tea, or miso broth, and hold off on eating until after you poop.  This can help regulate your digestive system and make things flow more smoothly.

Fresh fruits are nature’s laxatives. Berries and papaya are powerhouses, but ditch the dainty portions! Think overflowing bowls, not a measly half-cup, which is fine for keeping things running smoothly but not a full-on rescue mission. Many people can’t tolerate fruit in the morning but are okay with it later in the day. 

So when constipation hits, unleash the fruit and veggie armada—we’re talking Hulk-sized portions. Take probiotic supplements and high-fiber and probiotic food, and get some light exercise. 

Don’t worry if you slip up a day. Just grab some water, take a deep breath, and remember: veggies, fruits, probiotics, and exercise are part of your constipation-crushing squad!

DIARRHEA

Now the problem is you can’t stop pooping. Your stomach hurts, and you have loose and watery diarrhea. It can be triggered by various things, from viruses and bacteria to medications, specific food intolerances, and stress. We’ll delve more into this subject later in the book, but for now, let’s get you some relief.

For those with sensitive stomachs, myself included, coffee first thing in the morning can be a recipe for disaster. I used to battle upset stomachs all the time, which wasn’t exactly ideal for busy mornings.  The mad dash for the bathroom, or worse, the “on-the-go” situation, was simply not fun.

The answer for me was a simple switch to black tea as my first beverage of the day. Surprisingly, it provides enough caffeine to keep me going all morning. Plus, after a while, I came to prefer the taste, especially without milk. And guess what? Many have successfully ditched coffee for tea to resolve their stomach woes. You can still drink coffee; just don’t make it the first thing you put in your stomach daily. 

Consider if specific breakfast foods trigger your upset stomach. Common culprits include dairy (if you’re lactose intolerant) or gluten. If you have a lactose intolerance, there are many ‘milk’ products out there you can use instead, from lactose-free milk to a wide variety of plant-based alternatives. 

When I drink coffee (after my tea), I use A2 milk, which keeps my stomach happy. Heavy food first thing in the morning, such as fried bacon or French toast, can trigger diarrhea. They may be too much for a sensitive stomach. Switch to whole-grain toast with some nut butter or simple scrambled eggs. 

Probiotics are particularly known for their effectiveness in treating antibiotic-associated diarrhea and infectious diarrhea. At the store, ensure you get Lactobacillus rhamnosus GG and Saccharomyces boulardii strains for these conditions. Take the probiotics in between doses of antibiotics and not at the same time, allowing as much time as possible between taking each. 

RIGHT AFTER DIARRHEA

If your rear end is irritated and burning, lay on your side and gently press a cold soft wet cotton pad or washcloth on the anus until it calms down.  Lay there until the discomfort goes away. Follow up with skin-soothing ointments. You can use a variety of creams and salves for this, even petroleum jelly or vegetable oil. My preference is Forces of Nature ointments. Make sure it does not have products that will burn this sensitive area. Don’t wear tight pants on that day.

Eat a small amount of bland food like toast, lightly scrambled eggs, or rice. Drink warm or room-temperature tea to settle the stomach. Take small sips of water, preferably not too cold.  

There are over-the-counter medications that can treat diarrhea, but their side effects can include constipation, which has its problems, especially hemorrhoids. Chronic diarrhea that doesn’t seem to ever go away needs to be addressed by a healthcare professional. 

HEMORRHOIDS AND ANAL FISSURES

Hemorrhoids are essentially varicose veins in the anal and rectal area. These veins become enlarged and irritated, which can lead to painful symptoms. An anal fissure is a small tear or crack in the lining of the anus. It can be quite painful and sometimes lead to bleeding. Hemorrhoids and fissures often go hand in hand. While hemorrhoids are more common, fissures are more commonly the cause of anal pain.

My approach is the same for both, which is to throw everything at the problem: pills, ointments, diet, and lifestyle modifications. Later in the book, we’ll discuss this in more detail, as well as long-term solutions, but for now, let’s get you some relief. 

The minute I feel hemorrhoids coming on, I take…

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